Musings from Indonesia: Bu Endang
Bu Endang is a typical motherly figure that anyone would
easily connect with. Humble, loving, warm and kind, she resembles the qualities
of many other cadres, nurses, female doctors and Kepala Puskesmas that I have
met so far.
A health worker with nursing training for over 30 years, she
has served in her community throughout her entire career. I have to say that I
have enormous respect for them! To sustain in helping professions for a good 30
years, this in itself is very admirable. I had quit a good social work career
after three years of service due to restlessness. Of course the lofty reason is
I did this to pursue an opportunity that I thought I should not give up, all for
the purpose of self-actualisation, with so little knowledge of the anguish and
pain that I would encounter then.
I thought our informal conversation will just be another
conversation that fills the air time after we wrapped up the focus group
discussion and before we parted ways. It did not quite turn out that way.
In the subsequent 45 minutes that we filled each other with
our presence, I was struggling with my broken Bahasa Indonesia to make deeper
connections with her. However, the only thing that she made me feel was that I
am a whole person worthy of loving-kindness and success in life that every
human being deserves. The warmth that she expressed made me feel that there is
hope in this endeavour of trying to push the limits by embarking on this
research. Optimism is what she fills me. And humility is what she expresses
despite the so many good deeds that she has done. She wished me every success
in my journey leading to completion. I was moved.
Perhaps, to many people, these messages cannot be more
generic. But, to me, they flow from a heart filled with kindness, compassion
and generosity, pure and genuine, reverberating with a worn out heart that
yearns for comfort for a long time in a volatile journey that is always marred
with dust and sweat.
I offered to take her out for lunch as a simple gesture to thank her for helping me to recruit my focus group participants. She
politely declined, not even a tinge of trying to capitalize on the fact that
she deserved this because she had helped me.
At the end of our conversation, we gave each other a warm
cipiki-cipika. I watched her walking back to her home until she vanished from my
eyesight at the end of the alley.
There was a magical moment at that particular juncture –
tears were rolling in my eyes.
Thank you Bu Endang. This is all that I can say. With your
blessings, I shall endure, and I shall thrive.
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