Letting go- a not so easy concept to apply in practice

How many times have we told ourselves to let go, let go, and just let go? When noise arise in our environment, we remind ourselves to breathe and smile, and usually within a few seconds, we are able to redirect our attention to things that matter. This seems pretty easy. When minor anxiety arise occasionally, sometimes, it takes a while to process before we can let go. But still, we could eventually handle that with ease.

What appears difficult, is the inability to let go of something that really hits you hard at a particular moment. It causes immense stress. impedes clarity of our thoughts, and sweeps all the positive self-help immediate coping strategies under the carpet. These are things that have shaken your belief towards the fundamental trust and security that you could place on someone in life, or stinking garbage and junk that are thrown at you after having heavily invested in something physically, financially and emotionally. Break ups, divorces, demise of our loved ones are some of the commonest examples. One thing that struck me, that I almost never thought it would hit me, is the inability to let go of heavily invested money when the returns do not meet our initial expectations. I NEVER THOUGHT THAT LOSING MONEY IS SOMETHING SO HARD TO LET GO!!!

We whine about it, we blame our miscalculation of not having the foresight to predict unpleasant events (yes, I just wrote about not engaging in self-blame and here I am blaming myself now), we feel down, and we might just want to wrap ourselves in bed with blankets and refuse to get out of the bed for the next 24 hours. Our hard earned money after all. Down the drain.

What makes it so difficult to let go? Why, despite knowing how harmful it is not to let go, we still cling on to unproductive behaviours and dark emotions that do not benefit us? Why is it that mindfulness practice has not aided in our swift application of letting go? Maybe my mindfulness practice foundation is not strong after all.

I am learning and I am searching. Maybe because of self-ego and ignorance, I am still sailing in the deep rough sea of ceaseless pain and sufferings and nowhere close to reaching a shore or even a temporary shelter. We humans are oxymorons. On one hand, we preach about the importance of letting go and just move on when there's nothing we can do to salvage the condition; on the other hand, we cling on to the pain and the anxiety and the mental burden and refuse to free ourselves from anger, hatred, and delusion, and just move on.

There are plenty of rooms for more cultivation of wisdom to ultimately realize the destructive properties of clinging on to negativity, and move on with grace.

p/s: Btw, the context of me losing my heavily invested money is just probably a few thousand dollars, which is small to many people out there but an astronomical amount for a poor graduate student like me. Investing in a research initiative that does not guarantee any tangible returns is what I meant here. Trivial huh?


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